I'm a connoisseur of leisurely things. | Theories, Predictions, Opinions, & Other Nonsense

July 22, 2005November 21, 2005

Messing with Paradise; Martha’s Vineyard & Security

Well, I just got back from 6 days at my summer house on Martha’s Vineyard. In case you don’t know where that is, it’s an island – about 120 square miles in size – 12 miles off the coast of Massachusetts. I’ve been going there for about 25 years, 15 of which have been spent at my family’s summer house, which was built in 1985.

The best thing about Martha’s Vineyard (MV) is the relaxation and stress free life. It’s like a paradise; no crime and no worries. The largest thing you’ll have to “worry” about is finding a parking spot, or making your ferry to and from the island.

The last time I was there, it was September of 2003, two years after the 9/11 attacks in NYC and D.C. Even then, there wasn’t any real security at Woods Hole, which is where the auto ferry’s depart for MV.

Recently, on 7/7/05, there were attacks in London which prompted this country’s threat level to go from elevated to high. What this means in the grand scheme of things no one knows, but on a smaller scale, I found that it made traveling to MV from Woods Hole a lot more intrusive and a little more annoying.

I get to the terminal, which is basically a building with 3 docks and a parking lot. The area to board the boat is small. If the whole area is as big as a football field I’d be surprised. For the first time ever, in 20+ years of going to MV, my car was searched. I was asked to lower my windows and open my trunk, so the teenage and twenty-something summer work crowd (experts?) could sift through my luggage looking for God knows what. I hope they would find my dirty underwear, but that was no in the cards that day.

That was a quick check, and a little sticker was put on my car, which signaled to the rest of the workers that my suspicious vehicle – a 2004 Nissan Maxima – was checked, and declared bomb free. I didn’t have any chemical, biological or nuclear weapons. I did however lay a mean fart while waiting for my ferry, so that could have classified as a chemical weapon, I don’t know. Have to consult the Patriot Act for that one. Anywho, we board the ferry without trouble.

My girlfriend and I grab our seats, and it’s a beautiful day for a ferry. As the boat leaves, we are now flanked and escorted out of the harbor by two U.S. Coast Guard cutters, two machine guns on each and about 5 crew members on each boat.

There was almost an incident. A small boat – like a Boston Whaler, which seats about 4 people, came within about 50 yards from our boat as we left the dock. I could see a cooler, and a small family aboard. Very dangerous. 🙂 One of the Coast Guard ships got on their loudspeaker, and directed the boat to steer away from our ferry, as another crew member manned the machine gun turret. They literally watched that small boat for about 5 minutes, before they deemed it not a threat.

As soon as we left the harbor, Coast Guard turned around and we continued on the rest of the ~12 mile journey. To me, it makes more sense to not have that guard there, or have them escort the ship the whole way. I don’t quite see the point in escorting us just out of the harbor. If someone wants to do something, they’ll stay in open waters where there are less witnesses. Right?

So, we arrive at MV, spend 6 wonderful days there, and before I board the boat to go home, my car is once again searched. I’m questioning the logic in this, and I laugh when the ferry officer asks me to pop my hood. Yeah, my engine. She looked in my engine for about 5 seconds. If you own a 2004 Maxima or no someone that does, open the engine. Tell me where you can hide anything in there. Yeah, let me put something explosive or flammable next to something that gets hotter than hell.

Paradise lost? Absolutely not. Paradise annoyed? A little.

July 14, 2005November 21, 2005

Ruining the Dukes?

Yeeeeeehaww!

If you haven’t already heard, the big screen version of the popular 80’s TV hit “The Dukes of Hazzard” is ready for release on 8/5/05 by Warner Brothers. The action sequences look good from the previews I’ve seen, and it appears the 1969 Dodge Charger – aka “The General Lee” – is back in full effect.

Then, today on CNN, I see an link to an interview with Ben Jones, who played Cooter on the show. The article is titled “Dukes TV Star: Don’t See the Movie”.

As I read the article, it looks like Warner Bros. never consulted with nor wanted anything to do with the original cast members of the TV show when filming the movie. Here’s what Ben Jones said:

“Basically, they trashed our show. It’s one thing to do whatever movie they want to do, but to take a classic family show and do that is like taking ‘I Love Lucy’ and making her a crackhead or something. From all I have seen and heard, the ‘Dukes’ movie is a sleazy insult to all of us who have cared about the ‘Dukes of Hazzard’ for so long. Unless they clean it up before the August fifth release date I would strongly recommend that true blue Dukes fans hold their noses and pass this one up.”

While I can’t pass it up, I wish things were different. I was expecting (hoping) for some cameo appearances, but that doesn’t appear to be a reality at this point.

If anyone was wondering what Ben Jones has been doing since ~1985 after the Dukes went off the air, Jones was elected to Congress in 1988 as a Democrat. He lost his bid for a third term in 1992 after his district was redrawn. He owns Cooter’s Place, a “Dukes” memorabilia shop in Gatlinburg, Tennessee.

And, I will add that Warner Bros. is a division of Time Warner, as is CNN. What else do they own besides AOL. 🙂

Anywho, it remains to be seen what happens with the movie, but I’m hoping it’s not a total let down. Don’t see it?? What the heck? Mr. Jones, you need to understand something. As a kid growing up, one of the most influencial things I remember as a 5 year old, is turning on the TV on Friday nights at 8pm and watching The Dukes of Hazzard. Attempting to not see this movie woiuld be an excercise in futility. Regardless of your personal opinions of how WB might have ruined the good image of the show, I think we deserve to give it a fair chance, and then make our own opinions. Hell, I might even agree with you.

July 11, 2005February 14, 2006

Burn your Books, and Turn on Laptops says School

Article

Ok, well they aren’t burning them, they just aren’t going to use them. they are going to, instead, buy each child a $750 laptop and have them use that.

I know I still might be a little hungover from the 4th, but how does this make any practical sense? Don’t get me wrong — I think you can learn more with a laptop and an Internet connection then you can from any textbook. This being said, I’m an IT guy. I fix PCs for a living. Like an MD at a herpes convention, I see the same ailments time and time again. Spyware and Viruses. That’s all thats really wrong with peoples’ PCs today. Rarely does a component break, and when it does, it gets replaced.

How is the school going to maintain and upgrade the laptops?

What about when someone spills their CapriSun juice bag all over it? Or, it gets stolen. Hell, a kid in NYC was killed for is $200 iPod last week.

Not to mention the cost of a single textbook is about $50, compared with $750 of a laptop. A laptop might last 5 years, but it might last 5 minutes. A textbook will last many, many years.

Too bad high schools can’t be taught more like college classes. Textbooks do get dated, but they also arent easily damaged and people don’t kill each other over them.

July 10, 2005November 21, 2005

Lewis Black

Well, today’s news isn’t so hot. Tony Blair is trying to figure out who caused London’s bombings, the U.S. Gulf coast is getting pounded buy a category 4 hurricane, and my local Baskin Robins is out of Rocky Road.

People, it’s a joke, relax. Lighten the hell up. Hurricanes suck, so do bombings, but the best you can do in life for anything is laugh.

So, about 2 weeks ago, I had the great privilege of seeing Lewis Black for a second time. Put simply, the man is a genius. He might deny that if you told him he was, but he has a way of rationalization that very few people have. We’re stuck in our little bubble, and he is outside the bubble looking in, telling us in many funny ways, to wake the hell up for fucks sake. 🙂 I suggest anyone out there who likes to laugh, constantly questions authority, and has no idea why our government does what it does, go see Lewis Black.

I’ll give you a little excerpt of the night I saw. Lewis started talking about how he was invited to speak in front of many, many members of Congress, the House, and other politicians – including the President – at a function in D.C. this Spring. He wanted to do it, but unfortunately, he was going to be speaking in front of audience whom he despised.

A call came from the White House to his publicist, and the White House called to be reassured that Lewis wouldn’t say anything that “made fun of” the current administration.

When Lewis heard this info, he wondered how the hell he was going to perform 5 minutes of a show. 🙂

He was told that the President was going to be there, and after he heard that, he began to figure out ways on how to fill an hour of jokes while completely avoiding his own standup routine as he has nothing but utter hatred for the current Administration, and he is not afraid to communicate it in his shows. 🙂

As he spoke to us that night, he said that as he was contemplating what to say about the President, CNN announced that the Pope had passed away. The White House informed him soon after that the President would not be attending the event at which Lewis was supposed to speak at. Quoting Lewis, “It was like the Pope died for me. He sacrificed his life, for mine.”

It was then a little while later when the White House called again, stating that in lieu of the President coming to the comedy night, V.P. Dick Cheney would be attending.

And Lewis replied, “And that’s when I realized the Pope knew I was Jewish.”

July 9, 2005November 21, 2005

NASA relaxes some shuttle launch security – Why?

Article.

Check that link out, describing an AP story on how overall launch security at the July 13th scheduled launch of the Space Shuttle will be scaled-back to less strict standards then just after 9/11, despite recent events in London, England.

My question is, why?

The nation’s first – and no doubtedly most famous space Shuttle – broke apart over the westerm United states in February of 2003. From 9/11/01 through Feb 2003, launch security was a primary concern. SWAT teams, fighter jets and military choppers all protected the area and corresponding air space around the launch area in case terrorists got trigger happy.

When Columbia disintegrated over Texas in 2003, the answer was immediately evident, although not publically admitted until weeks after the incident. A suitcase-sized piece of foam used to insulte the SRB’s (Solid Rocket Boosters) broke loose, and smahsed into Columbia’s wing at a high speed, causing searing hot gas to enter Columbia’s wing as it approached on re-entry.

Two years have gone by since the U.S. launched a Shuttle, and with 4 remaining Shuttles (Atlantis, Discovery, Endeavor, and Enterprise*), meticulous care has been taken over the last 24+ months to ensure that better safety standards are in place. Basically, NASA took the way they were doing things, and completely changed them. There are new routines, new protocols. Basically, launching a Shuttle now has a changed format and new routines, all in the name of safety.

And what do they decide? No extra protection. In fact LESS protection for this shuttle flight than for any flight since the Summer of 2001. People, does that make any sense? If terrorists want to strike at a high profile event, the launching of the world’s best space vehicle is a great forum.

It makes no sense to me that after so much time and effort has been expelled to make these shuttles as safe as they can be, security will be lax at it’s launch. Let’s be PREACTIVE and not REACTIVE people.

* Enterprise was the first shuttle built in 1976, and it was mainly a test vehicle. To the best of my knowledge, it is used for spare parts these days, and in no reasonable amount of preparation time can it be flown into space.

July 6, 2005November 21, 2005

MTV Makes Me Wanna Smoke Crack

No, no, I’m not advocating drug use. For those that didn’t get the reference in the title, it is the name of an old, rather obscure Beck song. I believe off the single (import?) of Loser from back circa 1993 or so. Anyway, onto the point of the story before I digress…

On 7/2/05 was the Live 8 concerts from around the world, Philadelphia, London, and Paris just to name a few. MTV and VH-1 were covering the events as they unfolded in all of the cities.

I’ll just get straight to the point. MTV?…you suck!. My girlfriend and I are sitting in a Courtyard Marriot in Saratoga Springs, NY enjoying the day as we wait for our DMB concert to start at 7pm later that evening. So, we decided to watch the Live 8 coverage on MTV, especially since DMB was playing there, and then scurrying back up to upstate NY for their evening show.

This is how a typical hour’s segment of Live 8 coverage happened on MTV. Talking, talking, blah blah, performers in the background, commercial, talking, interviewing the crowd, 1 full song shown, “lets see whats going on in London, Jim” (cut to London), commercial, talking, interviewing the crowd, and so on.

In an hour’s time, if we saw 5 minutes of music, it would have been a lot. Instead, MTV just simply showing the concerts uninterrupted by senseless banter and commentary. I kept my mouth shut after the first 45 minutes, but when I realized this was more about MTV advertising than showing the music, I was pretty damn disgusted. What makes MTV think that me, sitting in my living room, that I care about what 3 drunk idiots from Ocean City, NJ think about the Live 8 concerts. I don’t care, SHOW ME PINK FLOYD.

Instead, and I never thought I’d say this, AOL – yes, AOL – had an Internet broadcast of the concerts, and they still have it online in archives for people to view.

Thanks MTV, for once again, really dropping the ball on an event. You people could fuck up a wet dream.

July 6, 2005November 21, 2005

Why I believe that Earth is “Purgatory Level Y”

Hear me out on this one. 🙂

I’m not a very religious man, more spiritual than anything else. I believe there is a reason we’re all here, but I have a feeling that reason isn’t as profound as we’d like it to be. I believe were one of billions of living species around the Universe, which makes us all that much more insignificant.

This being said, here is what we humans have been able to do over the last 35,000 years. Manipulate fire, invent the wheel, telephone, TV, automobiles, and the Internet. And so on. Lot’s of wonderful inventions, cures for diseases, and other things that generally helps our species.

What we also have been able to do is create massive destruction, and facilitate evil. Take war, nuclear weapons, killing people over iPods, and the molestation, torturing, and killing of each other.

The missing child of the week (what’s with all these kids going missing in the last 5 years?), Shasta Groene – was recently found alive. Can’t say as much for her brother or family, however. The killer/rapist/molestor Joseph E. Duncan is in custody, and police believe that the reason for his violent and evil actions over the years was because he was neglected in his youth in home and social environments. He was pushed away, and became a loner.

People, come on. There are smart people, there are dumb people. There is evil, and there is good. There are evil people, and good people.

Could it just be that Duncan is evil? Why is there always the need to have an answer, or an explanation. That’s not going to help the victims. Perhaps this sick bastard is just plain evil, and there are no two ways about it.

Perhaps that what we know as “Earth” is simply a stepping stone to someplace better, or if you make the wrong choices, something worse. Perhaps all of us are here because on our last “go ’round”, we somehow screwed up, and what we know of as “our time on Earth” is our 2nd, 3rd, 10th, nTh, chance at making things right.

Or, if you’re Duncan, perhaps your choices have made it clear to the rest of us that you what no part of what’s next, but would rather stick around for another shot, or stay forever in whatever composes Hell.